From Maiden To Mother...Reflections of My Journey
Jan 01, 2024
25 Days of Reflection
My 40th birthday is in 24 days.
And I feel like I am being born into a new version of myself.
I can feel a brand new woman beginning to rise.
While I have never met her before, she feels so familiar.
And to be honest, I’m curious about who she is, what she looks like, what she will create & who she will be.
What I do know….she is a representative of Great Mother. She is a matriarch. She is a nurturer who leads with compassion, acceptance & unconditional love.
She has strong boundaries because she knows, loves & values her energy. And the home she has created.
She is wise. She is discerning. She offers medicine & healing to those in need.
She loves, nurtures, & cares for herself first. Allowing all others to receive from her overflow.
Leading up to my birthday, I will spend time reflecting on my 30’s. The experiences I had, the lessons I learned, the joy I shared, the businesses I created, the skills I acquired, & the many ways I was of service & created impact.
I desire to see myself authentically, vulnerably, & in my most raw form.
I desire to more deeply fall in love with myself & this journey as I humbly & bravely walk into the next phase…Mother.
I desire to reflect on the life, love & art of my Maiden years.
Feel free to join me on this journey, as I share my reflections moving from Maiden to Mother.
Day 1
Moon Day, 1 January, 2024
How my 30’s began.
This decade of life, what shall we call it??
Saturn’s redirection.
Abuse, love & worth.
Healing my unhealthy relationships with the masculine.
Cleaning up the mess our wounds create.
Karma daddy, please stop?!?!
I walked into my 30’s in a relationship with a man I met on the very day of my Saturn return.
I entered this decade desperate for love & feeling broken by the story of being unwanted, discarded & unlovable. Too difficult to love.
I was deeply unhappy with the career I was in…or should I say job. It was just a job really. That I gave too much to. But it allowed me to feel stable & secure, at least for a bit.
I struggled to love my body. I believed I needed to beat it into submission & keep it under control. I used extreme dieting & really challenging workouts to prove what I was capable of. To achieve the body I had seen in magazines.
Because then someone will love me.
Then someone will choose me.
I worked hard to prove my worth. In career, in the gym, in love, in friendships, & with food.
As I begin to reflect over this decade of life, here are some important lessons I learned…
Over giving will not buy you love. It will buy you burn out & loneliness.
Your energy is meant for you FIRST. It is sacred & divine. It IS creation in human form.
There is safety in feeling.
Being sensitive & emotional is my superpower. And my opportunity for growth & self mastery.
‘Too much’ is not a communicator of my worth, but of alignment.
My body truly is a temple that houses the power & magic of the divine. I choose to love, value, respect & cherish her.
There is strength in softness.
I am capable of holding much. And I can choose not to.
I am not stubborn. I am confident in the trust I have in my intuition. I know what’s best for me & I trust it.
I am in love with being a woman.
My sensuality is my creative, life force energy in motion. Reserve it for those who will be good stewards.
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